Patching gone horribly funny

Dear Mr. Stanfill,

I am writing this email to you to inquire about the opportunity you have at Microsoft PSS SBS Team in Balgladesh. I understand that the role of SBS Escalation Engineer requires little functional knowledge of English and that Indian labor laws allow for “time off” concept that I am not very familiar with. 

Please forward further details on this role. I am an Exchange MVP and an MCSE but can run at a wall hard enough to forget most of what I know in order to meet the job description. As you can tell by the bags under my eyes I am stupid enough, ready for the challenge and have no fear of patching.

My resume is attached in the OpenDocument format. Please contact me at your earliest convenience.

-Vlad