The last inappropriate thing I post here

I’m having an awesome birthday weekend and am in a surprisingly good mood. Later this week I will be unveiling the new Vladville with the additions and changes I’ve been hinting at since WWPC. The new site will leave little room for the kind of myspace content you’ve been accustomed to so I figured I’d get all the inappropriate content out of the way before then. Grab a drink, sit down, this is going to be rude and lewd.

Is that your fiance, SUSANNE?

First of all, thank you all so much for sending in the e-greeting cards and well wishes. I truely appreciate them and am glad to know how many friends this blog has brought to my life. I know I sometimes do not explain every single detail of my life and the last post brought a lot of interesting questions.

Every year my (now) fiance Katie, who refuses to be pictured on this blog for some reason, takes me to the mall to show her what I want for my birthday. Despite knowing me for over 14 years she still doesn’t know that all my gifts come from newegg.com. Malls, in case you have not noticed, are packed with teenagers that dress like what I imagine discount hookers would look like. So I make the best out of it.

Katie: “Honey, what do you want?”

Vlad: Her. And Her. And Her.

Katie: “Be serious.”

Vlad: Ok, all three. At the same time.

And that explains the picture of Ashlee Simpson (thanks for the spelling Chris) on the previous post. But thats not really the funny part. That picture brought in a lot of email and questions. However, the funniest comment came from my buddy Chris who tried to guess the the angle under which Katie’s foot would be approaching my crotch.

Chris: Is that your fiance, SUSANNE?

Vlad: Yes, oh GOD YES!

So far neither Katie nor Susanne have killed me which probably means they are cooking something up together. 

Honey, can I put your picture on my blog?

The rotating backgrounds at the top of my blog are pretty interesting. My best pictures have Katie in them but she does not want to be on my blog. She does not even want to comment on the blog posts. “I don’t want to interfere with your fans.” So as any wonderful boyfriend would do, I cut the pictures and I posted them without her permission. I then proceeded to wake her up at 3AM and ask her for a model signoff. She took out four or five pictures from the set and gave me her blessing.

I will have you know that she just attempted to wrestle with me to get to the keyboard and find my BlogJet screen. Nice try, rookie. I have 28 years of hiding porn with ALT+Tab.

Fine, you can put a picture of me on your blog!

No not that one, its overexposed. Not that one, I look too pouty. Not that one, I look old. Ok, that one looks better.

Oh that one is going on myspace

I’d like to to kiss all the boys…

So Chris is an asshole. But this was the first birthday present I got this year and it really made the day for some UPS guys. This got delivered and as they were typing in the recipient into the system they really enjoyed my nickname. As a matter of fact, our mail folks were quite excited to give me the evenlope.

You’ll never see the present but you can at least admire the effort that went into the evenlope. Gotta love automation!