FMR: Kick Vlad Day in Full Effect

I rarely blog about my actual work and what I truly do as a CEO. Too much of what I do is so unbelievable that I think most people would misread my blog posts as true ramblings of an insane man, not just progressively vulgar humor. But for your enjoyment, and for the entertainment of those soon to be laid off and considering a career in IT business ownership, here is my daily log:

Midnight – Friend/Partner keeps on bouncing his issues with ExchangeDefender directly to my email. His comments make it obvious that he has no idea how the product works, which on a level makes me think he ought not to be selling the product in the first place, but despite multiple requests to follow the protocol, he refuses to. Miscategorized SPAM is to be reported to spam@ownwebnow.com – he outright refuses to do so. Issues with the product support are answered by product support, https://support.ownwebnow.com, not the CEO. On top of which he hasn’t deployed ExchangeDefender correctly to begin with (wide open, no IP restrictions); For anyone else, I would have dropped all accounts instantly. But since he is a friend, I am wondering how far the friendship goes – remove accounts within 3 days or 7 days?

6 AM – Note from the analytics overnight job, and I quote: “It appears the system design is racist towards the Irish. Recipient restrictions cannot be enforced against the Irish with ‘ in their last name. Please discus with customer.” Well, that one is just going to go swimmingly well, “We need you to change your name because our system doesn’t like the name O’Maley.“

7 AM – Orange.co.uk, which appears to be the AOL of United Kingdom is totally broken and has 0 postmaster contacts. So far ignoring email, voicemail, phone calls and virtually every way of contacting them, both from their direct customers and from us. Frankly, I am pondering nullrouting their entire address space to see if we can get a phone call from someone over there.

9 AM – Still dealing with Blackberry and the exercise in futility that is their alliance program. I have been dealing with some 2-bit sales jerk for two weeks now over the name of our company so they can accept the NDA so they can tell us how to even begin offering their services. At this point we sit on 10 emails, 3 faxes, and two phone calls all trying to explain to a friggin Canadian that the name of the company is “OWN WEB NOW CORP” and there is no punctuation. 

9:20 AM – Letter from our international SIP carrier, notifying us that they are now in bankruptcy court and are discontinuing our service.

While writing this blog post, something just exploded outside of our building and all the banks around me have their alarms on, which is just the kind of soothing background noise I need on a difficult day.

I need to pick up some sort of a heroin or alcohol addiction. The downside is that I’m a wuss when it comes to liquor so it puts me to sleep, and I don’t like needles so that kind of kills the heroin track.

The joys of CEOdom. I think I’m going to take the advice from the bank alarm thats six blocks away and calmly walk downstairs to the art shop and hang out with the brothers and see if I can get a second hand high.

Hope this satisfies the curiosity of the people that ask how I come up with all the funny blog posts. You have to have a way to laugh at yourself or throwing yourself out of the window becomes a real option. Or you crack and go work for TS2 🙂