The Sunshine State

I thought long and hard whether to post this or not. It’s not for the faint of heart, even compared to the usual fun and gun quality of 3rd grade abomination of the English language you find on Vladville. Proceed with caution..

I should learn not to talk smack about people when I live in Florida. I think even Chris Rue can make fun of Florida over this one. Not really a surprise that Florida doesn’t outlaw beastiality, considering how many people Mickey Mouse has grabbed by the ears and rode them like a $3 ho on the corner of Main St. all the way to the empty wallet 🙂

Come to Florida and go to Disney World. Meet Mickey Mouse!!!

Oh, don’t creep up behind Goofy or Pluto, they are still a little sore.

Classy, eh? Now to the fun that FSU people have in Tallahassee:

The Sunshine Beastiality State

A blind Tallahassee man has been accused of having sex with his guide dog. Florida, like many other states, has no bestiality statute – that is, a law specifically prohibiting sexual contact between humans and animals.

Alan Yoder, 29, originally was charged with felony animal cruelty, but court records show that charge was dropped on July 8 and replaced with a misdemeanor – disorderly conduct.

Yoder now is charged with a “breach of the peace, by engaging in sexual activity with a guide dog,” according to a court document.

Assistant State Attorney Stephanie Usina, said she could not answer specific questions, including explaining why the charge was lowered to a misdemeanor.

James D. Varnado, Yoder’s attorney, said he has filed a not-guilty plea on his client’s behalf but declined to discuss details of the case.

“However lurid the allegations may be, we should resist a rush to judgment,” he said.

Here’s what happened, according to Tallahassee police reports:

Yoder, who lives in a local apartment complex, in June asked a female acquaintance to join him in a sex act with the dog, a male yellow Labrador named “Lucky.”

She demurred, but later told a friend about it. That person called a social worker, who called police.

Investigators spoke to Yoder on June 16, who admitted performing certain sex acts with the dog, even going into detail with them, but denied doing others. He was arrested and booked June 22, charged with animal cruelty.

An animal-control officer took the dog to Dr. Sondra Brown, a veterinarian at Northwood Animal Hospital, who could not determine whether the dog had been sexually abused.

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Florida prosecutors have increased the charges against a blind man who is accused of raping his own guide dog. The change from misdemeanor to felony status came after animal welfare groups urged state officials to use a more serious rule, even though the Sunshine State has no law prohibiting sex with animals.

Alan Yoder, 29, was originally charged with misdemeanor disorderly conduct, specifically a “breach of the peace, by engaging in sexual activity with a guide dog.”

But Assistant State Attorney Phil Smith said new witnesses have come forward, justifying felony charges of animal cruelty and injuring a guide dog, according to the Tallahassee Democrat.

“Enhancing the charges does not change the fact that Mr. Yoder is innocent,” James Varnado, Yoder’s attorney, told the paper.

Tallahassee police report Yoder admitted to performing sex acts on the animal and willingly gave up the animal before charges were adjudicated