Customer Disservice Fantasies

Here is something to brighten up your weekend.

Last week I chatting to my buddy Erick in passing on IM (apparently both of us need clones and secretaries but if there is a problem with a hotel reservation or ExchangeDefender both of us waste our valuable time instead of sacrificing the underlings). A while back one of Erick’s star employees moved to Central Florida and was looking for a gig but my schedule has been all over the map and I just didn’t get a chance. The following conversation ensued:

Erick: You gotta talk to him.
Vlad: I know man, I’m sold, I just need to find some time.
Erick: He is loyal, dedicated, really cares about the customer.
Vlad: Oh. He won’t fit in here at all.

You see, Popcopy skit from the old Dave Chapelle show is one of the staff favorites at Own Web Now. I have to admit that it is about the only thing that can resurrect my day after I’ve had to spend ten minutes on a phone apologizing for stuff that is not our problem, trying not to get straight to the point and as my Beverly Hills guys say: “Go all Vladville on him.”

There are days that you just want to grab the computer from the customer, hand them classifieds and say: I don’t know who lied to you but this computer stuff is not for you. Look for a career that doesn’t involve reading comprehension.

Alas, can’t do that.

So I indulge in the guilty pleasure of living vicariously through the skit. Click below to play it (if your reader is not showing the video preview please visit vladville.com directly)

Occasionally you may get snagged by one of these customer people.
Your job is to frustrate them and make them feel unwanted.

You know, a lot of people ask WHY? WHY treat a customer this way?
Why? Cause fuck em, that’s why!

And should you ever doubt yourself and treat a customer with respect, just remember this: you’ve graduated from grade school and you don’t have to take shit from anyone!