Ladies and gentlemen, it’s Monkey time. Today at 9:00 AM EST we will be launching Shockey Monkey 3. This means that even those of you in the Asia/Pacific region will get to enjoy better business productivity for at least a few hours before the world ends. This blog post will self-destruct in a day and I will claim that my “Princess!” password was hacked so enjoy.
Here is the game plan:
Beta testing has been completed, databases have been extended and upgraded to Shockey Monkey 3 schema.
At 9:00 AM EST we will be starting the rsync process. Updating thousands of portals is expected to take a moment. You’ll know when you’re on 3.
At 9:01 AM EST we will be opening this bottle of Johnnie Walker Blue. Yes, seriously… I know, I know, I know, I can’t believe it either. I admit it. I have a problem. I am seeking counseling over it. It has caused me to really mess up at work, my emails and chats sound like that of a drunk neanderthal, I have been missing deadlines and the quality of my work has gone straight to crap. It’s a problem and the first step is admitting it. So I admit it. Yes, that is a Microsoft Surface type touch keyboard that you see behind the scotch. I’m sorry. I know it has hurt many people in my life and I hope we can focus on the positives – that so few of them were sold. 
At 1 PM EST we will be holding an obviously drunken webinar to talk you through the launch, what works, what doesn’t work, when things will be fixed, the thickness of the rope used to tie down dev monkeys to their desks fixing bugs through Christmas and New Years if need be.
Launch Webinar: Drunky Monkey (NSFW)
1PM EST Today
At 3 PM we have an EOY meeting, 4 PM Staff meeting, 5 PM Texas de Brazil meeting.
At Midnight…. well, Mayans.
In the meantime, should you encounter any issues please just do what Spungebob tells you. Click here.
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