One of my friends posted this on a mailing list we frequent, reflecting the feeling that many people have towards mailing lists and the few that ruin the experience for everyone:
I am sick of this group turning into nothing more than debates about licensing and every Tom, Dick and Harry's interpretation of the EULA. A short period of time ago, people complained they didn't understand Microsoft licensing, now the room seems to be filled with experts.
But how do you have a good experience in an online community if there are just few people that often ruin the experience for everyone. Certainly, you can always order the group by thread and follow the topics you are really interested in but the people you cannot stand tend to be present on every thread, seemingly contributing nothing. This discourages others from participating, once they see the virtual beating the other sensible person took by bringing another angle to the conversation.
Here are eight simple rules to avoiding mailing list flamewars:
1. Identify the idiots
This rule in particular applies to people that are lost on professional lists. They seek free help yet at every step reinforce their lack of understanding for the product or technology, yet still hope that the kindness of strangers pulls them through to the other side: "Oh, dear overlord of technical expertise, please carry this newb to the greatness and understanding, ever thankful, yours – The Dumbass"
Do not get into extended discussions with these. There are plenty of books, videos, classes, magazines, web sites and not to mention Google that could train them. What is worse is that 99.999% (scientific) of the time they have likely destroyed their computer to the point that even a forensic team could not put it together again.
Idiots should be ignored.
Cruel, yes, but lets consider the two alternatives that come from trying to help them. First, by attempting to help them you will receive an endless amount of guilt thrown your way and will be expected to help them bring their computer back to the defaults, along with all the personalized training they will ever need. There is nothing worse than trying to answer a question from someone who doesn't know what they are asking. Truth is, it is obvious they have no troubleshooting skills to begin with. Their initial troubleshooting, before they asked for help, could have broken 30 different things each of which could have caused it to "stop working" and you have an astronomic chance of helping them.
The second, and more dangerous result, is that the idiot problem brings down the conversation level of the entire group. This is why Orlando IT Pro has basic membership requirements, so that the conversations remain among professionals and not on the material that New Horizons could knock out in a week.
It is hard for the kind people to ignore idiots, so they try to help. Results are often far worse than the good they tried to provide. Look at rule #8.
2. Identify the worthless
As the age old saying goes "Opinions are like as**oles, everyone has one."
Same goes for ITPRO lists. Every list has their resident unemployed consultant who feels a need to tag on every thread and provide his computer science criticism based on his GED. There are exactly two criteria to determine whether someone's opinion requires a response: their knowledge and experience.
This tends to be a cornerstone of Linux user groups but is also growing on the Windows groups as well. You have a guy who in his entire live has not written a single line of code, yet jumps on every thread to criticize decisions of software developers. Same unincorporated hobbyist billing 3 hours a week also has the might to debate business decisions of a multi-billion dollar conglomerate.
The problem with arguing with the worthless? You will never be able to reason with them. That’s the beauty of having infinite spare time, they can write pages and pages of arguments without a bit of common sense. A long time ago one of my friends gave me an easy way to identify the worthless: "Organize by the posters name and look at who posts the most. If they have the time to do that chances are they do nothing else"
Look at rule #8.
3. Identify "passionate beyond reason"
Passionate beyond reason are easy to spot. They will jump into a discussion thread and throw a tantrum or an overly dramatic argument which to a casual observer has nothing to do with the topic at all.
There is no reason to ever respond to anything these individuals make. First of all, their responses will never challenge the discussion, facts or circumstances – they will challenge you. They are not looking for a differing point of view (similar to rule #4) they are simply retaliating against what differs from whatever causes their insanity.
It's like seeing crazy people on the street – just keep on walking and don't look make eye contact.
4. Identify "religiously devout"
"Religiously devout" (nothing to do with religion) are a special breed of "passionate beyond reason" that do not have the ability to convey their message with much dramatic effect. They have the core of opinions which they consider to be "the word of God" and nothing can ever disagree with that. Even if one word is in direct conflict with another, they have a way of reasoning around it, without common sense of course. Common examples:
Mac users.
Mutt/vi users.
Windows95 evangelists.
You cannot have a conversation with them. You cannot disagree with them. You cannot point out that they are wrong, no matter how much factual evidence you have against their argument. They are always right. They have the understanding of the world that you simply do not.
Take a look at rule #8.
Now that you know the four typical difficult personalities on mailing lists, here is how to avoid getting in trouble.
5. Steer clear of opinionated threads
One easy way is to make your contribution to the community on the facts alone. Facts that are documented, published and otherwise available for everyone to take a look at. Yes, #1-4 will certainly have their inner angle on all the facts but you can let them argue with the facts and not with you. Saves you time, wears out their keyboard.
Stay away from opinionated threads. It is easy to get dragged into a virtual conversation about the pointless, but you would never start one in real life. One way to bring life to a boring list is to constantly prod for an opinion on something that nobody has a strong enough of a feeling to carry on a discussion… except the individuals in #1-4. You can always get a crazy person to rant. Need the input of the uneducated, just ask – how can they be wrong with their guesses. Lonely and bored ALWAYS want to talk.
Stop. Stay away. Leave it.
6. Steer clear of undocumented "facts"
Great way to get in trouble on a mailing list is to start extended conversations over rumors, unsubstantiated quotes, grapevine and worthless opinions of people who obviously don't get out enough.
Do not go down to the level of #1-4.
"I think… I believe… I wish… I'm not sure, but…" are clear indications that the opinion does not warrant a reply, even further, does not deserve to be read completely to begin with.
This is a flame war bait by the devout, worthless and passionate. They are just looking for someone that’s dumb enough to disagree with them so they can pummel them with their righteous arguments.
Great way to avoid being sucked into an argument is to never reply to a reply. Never engage in a conversation with the #1-4, no matter how much you disagree with them. You will not win, regardless how factually correct you are and how ridiculous they seem.
7. Forgive before you kill
Now that you know the personalities and their common traps, there are two ways to avoid them.
The simplest one is to consider what your response would be had you met this person face to face. If you started a passionate argument in the middle of the street and the other person obviously appeared crazy and clueless, you would walk away, wouldn't you? (if not, you're likely one of #1-4)
"Forgive before you kill" is simply an admission that you have nothing to gain from a fight that you do not need to fight. Let the insane person carry on and make an ass out of themselves in front of everyone, they do not need your help or fuel. Let them talk. Given enough mic time we can all say enough stupid things to lose everyone's respect. Let them do it, step back.
While it is always tempting to put the clueless into their place, remember that there is much more at play, far more than you can fix with a few quick facts to settle an argument. It is not your problem.
8. Use the blacklist, Luke.
Do you go into bars looking for a fight?
Do you go into a church with a burning cross?
Do you go through a rough neighborhood yelling racial slurs?
Do you stand around in traffic with a huge sign inciting others to be violent?
Then why in the world would you want to allow others to do that to you on your computer?
There is a wonderful feature in your mail client that allows you to keep #1-4 at bay:
Blacklist.
Ignore list.
Delete rules.
Most mailing list become very pleasurable when they are pruned of the few that are only present to cause trouble. Remember why you joined the list in the first place. To help. To get help. To discuss things with people going through the same things you are going through. To talk to your peers.
Always remember that there are real people behind these postings. They are not automated or randomly generated. There is a human being behind every word. Human beings have problems, sometimes serious ones. Humans tend to be shaped by their circumstances. Humans tend to have absolute feelings, cultural traits, strong biases. In real life, you can read whether those are a joke, sarcasm, or pure and utter insanity. Online you cannot. So stick to the safe side and keep your cool, avoid the fights you do not need to fight.
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